Schwarz-cycle Gets the Blues

When I ask for adventure, I'm really asking for a moose sighting or perhaps a new flavor of ice cream. You see, I'm something close to a coward (I also understate a lot of things) and really don't want much of that hardcore action. So when I stepped out of my building and saw this:



I knew my day had just gotten real special.

This is my first time being on the receiving end of a thievery heist and what I can't get over is how STUPID my assailants were. They tried, quite unsuccessfully, to steal my bike in TWO different ways.

Method one: CUT THE CABLE



Let's take a closer look at that.



There was only one slim wire holding that lock together, which leaves me to believe that perhaps method TWO came first. But my cable is no dinky cable. It's thicker than my thumb and encased in a hard plastic. There had to have been easier bikes to steal. What you can't really see from the pictures is the smörgåsbord (yay, Swedish word!) of bikes to be had next to mine that are notably nicer and with smaller locks. This leaves me the conclusion that black, although a pretty nice color, is a pretty nice nondescript color and pretty appealing to those who wish their bike purchase to remain nondescript. Anyway, on with the show.

Method Two: DETACH THE WHEEL



My poor bike looked like it was dangling off the edge of a precipice, holding on for dear life. Now, taking off my front wheel isn't as easy as it looks (although, in retrospect, it IS surprisingly easy). It turns out that my cheesy basket saved the day and bought my bike some time (or frustrated the hell out of my thief). Either my thief gave up - doubtful - or someone eventually came along and scared him off. The end result being that I'm out one bike lock and in for a trip to the bike shop tomorrow. Not much damage was done (I hope). I was able to lift the frame back onto the wheel and tighten the screws with my fingers but the alignment is off. Now the tire rubs against the fender, emitting a sound reminiscent of an elephant in full release.


Ah well, at the end of the day, I guess it could have been real worse. Besides, I enjoyed running around with my camera, getting all scratched up and oily from the bike, and taking my life real serious for a few moments. It made my heart go pitty-pat.